I don’t know what it is. There is something emotional about the transition from summer to fall. I don’t know if it is the feeling I get when I think of previous Falls. Maybe it’s the reality that our world will seem a little darker with the eventual winter that is coming. Maybe it’s the cold. Or it could be the flip into another chapter of life that will not wait for us to bid the summer farewell.
When I think of each season there are several things that come to mind. Of course smells and holidays come to mind but for me it gets more personal. Emotions. Songs. People. Places. They all seem fresh. Riding in my early 90’s red Buick(I never paid attention to makes, years and models) to Eastern Kentucky. Going to visit my friend Caleb at Cumberland College while wearing an oversized jacket to make up for my non-working heater. Flipping my long hair( that represented 6 haircuts I never got, $60 saved) out of my face and whipping my car around those small mountain roads that could have easily claimed my life. This is what I think of when I hear the word Autumn.
And this is the music I listened, and have listened to in the process.
1) Andrew Peterson || Love and Thunder
2) Bon Iver || For Emma Forever Ago
3) Andrew Osenga || Photographs
4) Caedmons Call || Caedmons Call
5) Ray Lamontagne || Trouble (This song is Jolene off the album Trouble)
It’s tough to be a follower of Jesus who claims to be about his fame and glory and realize that in a way I want my own.
In Jay-Z’s recent Album, Magna Carta Holy Grail, Jay spent time telling how fame and success are things that he hates but also thrives off of. Obviously, he tells of the Idol that fame has become for him. He just doesn’t know it yet.
I want to preach sermons that will be talked about years after I die.
I want to live a life that impacts this earth for centuries after my death.
But the fame I want, the followers I want, the glory I want is hard to reconcile. I can easily stop at this point and say that most of what I want is the flesh and I must deny it. Put it to death. But being in ministry, having my life called to the Kingdoms work, it’s not that easy.
Alot of these desires I have are good desires when things are in perspective. I’d like people to hear my sermons because I want people to hear Jesus who are from the rougher side of the tracks.
It is good for me to want people to hear of Jesus. It is good for me to want to be on a big stage to tell others about him.
But being in ministry, I have realized that many of us can be tempted to lifting our names for our glory and fame instead of us hoping we can get on the big stage just to lift Jesus high.
Like my Pastor’s have always told me, Just Remain Faithful.